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Halloumi my friends!

I thought I'd better get this done now, because December is looking busy. So let's get fizzing with this festive fistula of fun.

Christabel's Party EP

First up is the Christmas EP. We've excelled ourselves this year with Christabel's Party the now-traditional 4-track downloadable EP with a brand new seasonal track. It contains two instrumentals, plus a live number from this year's Golden Afternoon. It's called Love Shine A Light. That's right, Kimberley Rew's 1997 Eurovison Song Contest winner, belted out by me, with Kimberley and Lee on guitars and back-up vocals. This'll be out on December 3rd via Bandcamp, Spotify and most everywhere else. And as if we weren't spoiling you enough, there will also be a video of this live performance made by kindly Ashley Powell and posted up online soon.

And the new album? I've started work on it. Ready in the spring, we hope.


Not much in the way of gigs this year. There's the return of the Christmas Poetry at Colchester Arts Centre on 16th December of course. With me and my droogies: John Cooper Clarke, Radio Ross Sutherland and Early middle-aged Young Luke Wright. It sold out within two days of going on sale, however. You could try enquiring about cancellation tickets at

FILM NEWS I've been doing more filming than making records lately. Next year James Sharp's long awaited feature-length documentary The Jangling Man will be online, in cinemas, and then screened on rotation in Heaven, if all the gossip I'm hearing is to be believed. Meanwhile Graham Bendel's earlier film Upstairs Planet which premiered in 2019 in London's West End and on Broadway at NYU, has not yet reverted to DVD and is still available for showing. Look him up and call him.

I'm heavily featured in a major French pop video next year too. But my lips must remain sealed or else a man will be sent from France to kill me. There will be more adventure and shenanigans in the New Year we daresay. Right now though it's time to think about the forthcoming season.

So here to start things of with a big bollocks of a bang are some... *Ideal Unwanted Seasonal Gift Ideas*

What about a nice Cleaners From Venus T-Shirt?

Perfect for being seen wearing while naked-from-the-waist-down, tied to a snowy lamp post after that office party. Also makes an ideal little party dress, accessoried by a chic improvised belt fashioned out of an XLR-to-standard-jack microphone cable. (not supplied)

Also still in stock Europe and the US.

The Greatest Living Englishman: Middlebrow reading matter (almost).

Part 2 of Martin Newell's rock'n'roll memoir, covering years 1975 to 1995.

And don’t forget…The Music! Tons of CDs and downloads in the Lo-fi range and even some mid-fi stuff too. Fed up with whatever it is the music industry's been guffing out of it's pre-patched designer dung-hampers for the last two decades? Then you need The Cleaners from Venus. Look back into the future with the the Doyen of DIY. Okay..let's roll!


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